"Independence Day: Resurgence" (2016)

Starring Jeff Goldblum, Liam Hemsworth and Jessie Usher

Written by Roland Emmerich, Dean Devlin, Nicholas Wright and James A. Woods

Directed by Roland Emmerich

Rated PG-13 — Violence, language

Running Time: 120 Minutes

Trailer

Twenty years after “The War of 1996,” humanity stands (mostly) united. Salvaged alien technology has helped rebuild and enhance defenses around the planet, including a moon base and satellite systems with massive energy cannons. In Central Africa, though, one ship managed to land, and the people there fought a decade-long land-war against the invading aliens looking to reap our planet of all its natural resources.

This is where David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) discovers that the aliens managed to send a distress signal 20 years earlier that has no been answered by an even larger alien mothership. And so, on July 40, 2016, the aliens return and the war to stave off the destruction of humanity begins anew. But this time, even with all the advances in defense and weapon technology of the last two decades, the people of Earth may not be able to stave off the overwhelming forces stacked against them -- including an alien queen piloting a ship the size of the entire Atlantic Ocean.

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows" (2016)

Starring Pete Ploszek, Alan Ritchson and Noel Fisher
Written by Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec
Directed by Dave Green
Rated PG-13: Violence, language, frightening images
Running Time: 112 Minutes
Trailer

After saving New York City from the Shredder (Brian Tee), the ninja turtles Leonardo (Pete Ploszek), Raphael (Alan Ritchson), Michelangelo (Noel Fisher) and Donatello (Jeremy Howard) have retreated back into the sewers. Intent on remaining secret from the world above, they allow their friend human Vern (Will Arnett) take the credit for taking down Shredder. Their other human friend, journalist April O'Neil (Megan Fox) remains on the trail of Shredder's cronies and discovers a plan by scientific genius Baxter Stockman (Tyler Perry) to break Shredder out of prison.

The turtles put in a valiant effort, but are unable to keep Stockman from using an alien teleportation device from whisking Shredder out of police custody. But this miraculous escape has consequences: Shredder is transported to another dimension where he makes a deal with Commander Krang (the unrecognizable voice of Brad Garrett) to find two more pieces of the alien device that will allow Krang to transport his Technodrome war machine to Earth and subjugate its population.

To help keep the turtles off his back, Krang helps Shredder create two powerful mutants: Bebop (Gary Anthony Williams) and Rocksteady (Stephen Farrelly). But the turtles will have some help of their own: Along with the sage advice of their father Splinter (Tony Shalhoub), April and Vern, they'll be joined by enthusiastic police officer/hockey enthusiast Casey Jones (Stephen Amell) as they battle to take down the Shredder again and protect not just New York but the entire planet from Krang's forces.

"Gods of Egypt" (2016)

Starring Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Brenton Thwaites and Gerard Butler
Written by Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless
Directed by Alex Proyas
Rated PG-13 — Violence
Running Time: 127 Minutes
Trailer

In a world where the Egyptian gods live among man, Horus (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) is about to be crowned king as successor to his father, Osiris (Bryan Brown). But during the coronation ceremony, Osiris' brother Set (Gerard Butler) arrives with an army, kills Osiris and claims the throne for himself. He steals Horus' eyes and begins a campaign to conquer any of the other gods who oppose his rule.

A year later, Set has conquered the entire world of man, leaving only the skies above and the afterlife. A young mortal thief, Bek (Brenton Thwaites), is convinced by his girlfriend Zaya (Courtney Eaton) to break into Set's vault to steal back Horus' eyes so Horus can lead an uprising and free the people. Unfortunately, Zaya's plan is discovered by her slave master, Urshu (Rufus Sewell) the architect from whom she steals the plans.

Zaya is killed while she and Bek escape Urshu, so when Bek tracks down Horus he makes a deal with the fallen god to get Zaya back from the afterlife in exchange for Horus' eye. Now, Horus and Bek have only a couple days to defeat Set before Zaya's soul is lost forever.

...or something.

"Deadpool" (2016)

Starring Ryan Reynolds, TJ Miller and Morena Baccarin
Written by Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick
Directed by Tim Miller
Rated R — Violence, language, sex/nudity
Running Time: 108 Minutes
Trailer (Red Band)

Wade Wilson ( Ryan Reynolds) is a fast-talking mercenary who likes to take on jobs where he can jerk people around. He's got a bit of a reputation for helping out underdogs and those he feels deserve help, though he'll angrily refute that if you ask him. After meeting and falling in love with Vanessa (Morena Baccarin) at his friend Weasel's (TJ Miller) bar, Wade discovers he's got cancer and doesn't have long to live.

In comes a recruiter (Jed Rees) for what Wade is told is a super-secret superhero development project. But what Wade discovers too late is that he's actually just signed himself up to become a guinea pig for a mutant named Ajax (Ed Skrein) who is trying to create the ultimate super-soldiers to be sold into slavery to the highest bidder. When Ajax's experiments leave Wade able to heal from almost any wound, but hideously disabled, he breaks free and spends the next year trying to track down Ajax and get revenge for what was done to him.

All the while, Wade, now going by the name Deadpool, is hounded by Colossus (voice of Stefan Kapicic) who wants to recruit Wade into the X-Men. And Wade still has that nagging issue of being in love with Vanessa, who also hasn't gotten over Wade. He just can't stand to visit her while he's still a hideous freak. Not until he's gotten Ajax to reverse whatever was done to him... at whatever the cost.

"I, Frankenstein" (2014)

Starring Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy and Yvonne Strahovski
Written and directed by Stuart Beattie
Rated PG-13 — Fantasy violence, language
Running Time: 92 Minutes
Trailer

Frankenstein's monster, called "Adam" (Aaron Eckhart), has been alive now for more than two hundred years. In that time, he has been hunted by the demon forces of Prince Naberius (Bill Nighy). After an encounter with the Gargoyle Order, Adam learns of a centuries-long secret war between the forces of Hell and the gargoyles, who defend mankind.

Not wanting any part in the war, Adam retreated from human society and trained himself to fight with the weapons of the gargoyles. Now, in modern times, he has returned, having decided to take the fight to Niberius. Leonore (Miranda Otto), queen of the gargoyles, wants to understand what it is Niberius wants with Adam, but her second in command, Gideon (Jai Courtney) wants Adam destroyed.

Meanwhile, Niberius, under his human guise as head of the Wessex Institute, has been funding Dr. Terra Wade's (Yvonne Strahovski) research into the work of Dr. Viktor Frankenstein, hoping to recreate it. Unknown to Wade, she's become a pawn in the war between demons and gargoyles, and if her work succeeds, one which could lead to the destruction of all mankind.

"Furious Seven" (2015)

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker and Jason Statham
Written by Chris Morgan
Directed by James Wan
Rated PG-13: Violence, language
Running Time: 140 Minutes
Trailer

After defeating Owen Shaw and finally returning home to the United States with full pardons for their crimes, Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) and Brian O'Conner think they're in the clear. But while Dom struggles to help Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) deal with her amnesia and Brian can't quite seem to settle into domestic life with his wife Mia (Jordana Brewster) and his son Jack, something is going quite wrong. Shaw's brother Deckard (Jason Statham) is out for revenge. In short order, he puts Hobbs (Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson) in the hospital in LA and kills Han (Sung Kang) in Tokyo.

A CIA agent calling himself Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russel), in need of some help, makes Dom an offer he can't refuse: rescue a genius hacker named Ramsey (Nathalie Emmanuel) from a terrorist organization led by Mose Jakande (Djimon Hounsou) and Dom will be granted use of a top-secret surveillance system that can find anyone, anywhere in the world, to track Deckard Shaw and end their feud once and for all.

To pull off this job, Dom reassembles his crew including Brian and Letty, as well as Tej (Chris 'Ludacris' Bridges) and Roman (Tyrese Gibson). And then it's on.

"Dead Snow: Red vs Dead" (2014)

Starring Vegar Hoel, Orjan Gamst and Martin Starr
Written by Tommy Wirkola, Stig Frode Henriksen and Vegar Hoel
Directed by Tommy Wirkola
Rated R - Strong violence and language
Running Time: 100 Minutes
Trailer

Following the events of the first film, Martin (Vegar Hoel) barely manages to escape the Nazi zombies that killed all his friends on their mountain vacation in Norway. He crashes his car, and is brought to a nearby hospital where he's horrified to hear upon waking up that not only is he being charged with the murders of all his friends, but also that the doctors say they've reattached his severed arm. The only problem with that is it's not his arm they found — it's Herzog's, (Orjan Gamst) the zombie leader. The arm turns out to be super-strong and have something of a mind of its own and a lust for blood.

To find out why, Martin contacts the Zombie Squad, a group of Americans he thinks will be able to help him kill the zombies once and for all. The Squad, led by Daniel (Martin Starr) is actually just a trio of nerds who have seen too many movies, but they come to Norway anyway. Along with a World War II museum guide named Glenn (Stig Frode Henriksen), they'll have to figure out a way to stop Herzog from completing the last mission given to him by Hitler decades earlier: the destruction of an entire town as revenge for sabotaging Nazi war plans.

"The Expendables 3" (2014)

Starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham and Mel Gibson
Written by Sylvester Stallone, Creighton Rothenberger and Katrin Benedikt
Directed by Patrick Hughes
Rated PG-13 - Violence, language
Running Time: 126 Minutes
Trailer

Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) has a crisis of conscience after a CIA-sponsored mission goes sour. With his friend and teammate Hale Caesar (Terry Crews) wounded and in the hospital, Ross disbands the Expendables and plans to go after the man responsible: Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson), a former teammate Ross thought he'd killed years earlier.

With the help of a recruiter named Bonaparte (Kelsey Grammer), Ross recruits a new generation of Expendables: Smilee (Kellan Lutz), Luna (Ronda Rousey), Thorn (Glen Powell) and Mars (Victor Ortiz). Ross' CIA contact, Drummer (Harrison Ford), wants Stonebanks brought in alive. When their capture op goes sour and Stonebanks ends up with the new team as hostages, the old Expendables, Christmas (Jason Statham), Toll Road (Randy Couture), Doctor Death (Wesley Snipes), Yin Yang (Jet Li), Gunnar (Dolph Lundgren) and Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger) along with wild-eyed newcomer Galgo (Antonio Banderas) decide to get the band back together.

"Sharknado 2: The Second One" (2014)

Starring Ian Ziering, Tara Reid and Vivica A. Fox
Written by Thunder Levin
Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante
Unrated - Violence, language
Running Time: 90 minutes
Trailer

Fin (Ian Ziering) and his wife April (Tara Reid) are headed to New York City for a book signing. En route, their plane encounters a storm... full of sharks. Forced to take action again, Fin takes control of the plane after the pilots are killed, but April is injured in the ensuing chaos.

Arriving in the city, Fin seeks to locate his family including his sister Ellen (Kari Wuhrer) and her husband Martin (Mark McGrath). But of course, all hell is breaking loose. With superstorms approaching the city, New York finds itself under siege by sharks falling from the sky. With Manhattan in a panic, Fin must take control and figure out how to save everyone... including Matt Lauer.

"Transformers: Age of Extinction" (2014)

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Peter Cullen and Stanley Tucci
Written by Ehren Kruger
Directed by Michael Bay
Rated PG-13 - Violence, language
Running Time: 165 Minutes
Trailer

Five years have passed since the Autobots defended Earth from Sentinel Prime and Megatron's attempt to transform Earth into a new Cybertron and enslave its human population. But despite their victory and heroic defense of Earth, the Autobots have been branded dangerous by the United States government.

Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer) leads a CIA operation to hunt down and destroy remaining Decepticons on Earth. But what Attinger hasn't told his superiors is that with the help of a non-alligned transformer named Lockdown (Mark Ryan), his CIA team is also hunting down and killing the Autobots.

In Texas, struggling inventor Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) purchases a beat-up old truck and tows it back to his workshop where he discovers it's actually a gravely wounded Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen). Prime tells Yeager that he's hiding from humans out to kill him, barely having survived an ambush in Mexico. Cade is willing to help Prime, but his daughter Tessa (Nicola Peltz) is afraid and begs Cade to call the government. Instead, his friend Lucas (TJ Miller) does it for them. A CIA team led by James Savoy (Titus Welliver) arrives and threatens to kill Cade and his daughter if they don't give up Optimus Prime.

Cade and Tessa are rescued by Shane (Jack Reynor), Tessa's boyfriend, and the three go on the run with Prime. The group meets up with surviving Autobots Hound (John Goodman!), Bumblebee, Drift (Ken Watanabe), and Leadfoot and Crosshairs (both voiced by John DiMaggio). They soon discover that the transformers killed by Lockdown are taken to facilities owned by Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci) who has unlocked the secret of the transformers shape-shifting abilities.

Joyce has constructed his own transformers, and while Cade struggles to learn the truth and figure out a way to protect his daughter, Optimus Prime wonders whether he should even bother protecting humans anymore.

"Godzilla Raids Again" (1955)

Starring Hiroshi Koizumi, Setsuko Wakayama and Minoru Chiaki
Written by Shigeaka Hidaka and Takeo Murata
Directed by Motoyoshi Oda
Not Rated - Violence, peril
Running Time: 82 Minutes
Trailer

Note: This is a review of the US version of the film, which features a number of differences from the original Japanese version, detailed here. 

 Two pilots, Tsukioka (Hiroshi Koizumi) and Kobayashi (Minoru Chiaki) are forced to make an emergency landing on a mysterious island near Osaka, Japan, after Kobayashi's plane suffers a malfunction. While resting themselves on the beach, they are witness to an incredible sight: a fight between two gigantic monsters.

The two pilots make their way back to civilization and tell the tale, and once again, Japan is gripped with fear over the kaiju menace. An archaeologist, Dr. Yamane (Takashi Shimura), explains that millions of years ago, fire creatures roamed the earth. They were of the Anguiris family, and now slumber only to be awoken by radioactive fallout.

Soon enough, though the government prepares as best it can, the creature they're calling "Gigantis" makes its way ashore in Osaka and proceeds to wreck up the place. Now Tsukioka and Kobayashi join a fleet of fighter pilots to concoct a desperate plan to destroy Gigantis and save Japan once more.

"Godzilla" (1954)

Starring Akira Takarada, Momoko Kochi and Akihito Hirata
Written by Ishiro Honda and Takeo Murata
Directed by Ishiro Honda
Running Time: 96 Minutes
Trailer

Off the coast of Japan, fishing boats begin to go missing. Survivors are soon found - wounded, delirious, telling stories of a gigantic monster that attacked them. The fishing community of Odo Island is hit by what is first assumed to be a typhoon - but the survivors describe a massive creature stomping their homes.

The country's eminent scientist, Dr. Yamane (Takashi Shimura) heads an expedition back to Odo Island and makes startling discoveries: Gigantic footprints that are radioactive, and a living specimen of a trilobite, which should have gone extinct millions of years ago. As Yamane and his daughter Emiko (Momoko Kochi), along with her lover, a salvage ship captain named Ogata (Akira Takarada) investigate, Godzilla appears once more.

Soon enough, Japan is gripped by fear. What is this creature? Where did it come from? Most importantly: How can it be stopped? The answer may lie in the research of Emiko's fiance, Dr. Serizawa (Akihiko Hirata)... who doesn't yet know that Emiko is really in love with Ogata.

"The Expendables 2" (2012)

Starring Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham and Jean-Claude Van Damme
Written by Richard Wenk and Sylvester Stallone
Directed by Simon West
Rated R - Strong bloody violence throughout and language
Running Time: 103 Minutes
Trailer

They're all back.

The Expendables, Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone), Lee Christmas (Jason Statham), Yin Yang (Jet Li),  Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), Hale Caesar (Terry Crews), Toll Road (Randy Couture) and newcomer Billy the Kid (Liam Hemsworth) are hired to save a a Chinese billionaire from kidnappers in Nepal.  When they bust into the compound, they make a surprising discovery: Barney's rival, Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger) who was captured while also trying a rescue attempt.

Soon enough, Barney and the others make their bloody, extravagant escape and head home.  Barney is then approached by Church (Bruce Willis) with a mission, to make up for the millions Barney cost him in the first film.  Barney and his team are paired with Maggie (Yu Nan) and tasked with retrieving computer data from a downed plane in the mountains of Albania.  But the team runs afoul of Jean Vilain (Jean-Claude Van Damme) a terrorist who uses the information to locate buried weapons-grade plutonium in a nearby mine that he plans to sell.

One murdered teammate later, and Barney and the rest of the Expendables are out for vengeance.  Cue more gunfire and cheesy banter than you know what to do with.

"Con Air" (1997)

Starring Nicolas Cage, John Cusack and John Malkovich
Written by Scott Rosenberg
Directed by Simon West
Rated R - Violence, language
Running Time: 115 Minutes
Trailer

I recently noted that "Air Force One" was the kind of turn-off-your-brain action picture that can be a ton of fun.  While both can be labeled part of the "Die Hard on a plane" subgenre, "Con Air" makes "Air Force One" look like an intelligent Oscar-worthy film.

U.S. Army Ranger Cameron Poe (Nicolas Cage) is sent off to do a dime after killing a man in a barfight.  Eight years later, he's finally being released to go home to his loving wife (Monica Potter) and meet his daughter for the first time.  He hitches a ride home on a US Marshal Service prisoner transport plane carrying some of the nation's worst fiends.

Once airborne, the cons stage a well-planned siege of the plane.  Led by Cyrus "The Virus" Grissom (John Malkovich), the convicts take control of the plane, killing several of the guards and taking the rest hostage.  Cyrus and his cronies, including Nathan "Diamond Dog" Jones (Ving Rhames), William "Billy Bedlam" Bedford (Nick Chinlund), Joe "Pinball" Parker (Dave Chappelle), are being paid to hijack the plane in order to spring South American drug lord Francisco Cindino (Jesse Borego).  Cindino has promised them all a large sum of money and save haven in a non-extradition country for their help in his escape.  The plane is also carrying a number of other cons who aren't in on the plan, but are more than eager to join in when they see what's going on, like serial rapist John "Johnny-23" Baca (Danny Trejo), but also a few more than content to simply sit by and see what happens next, like the quietly insane Garland Greene (Steve Buscemi).

Poe's best friend on the inside, Mike "Baby-O" O'Dell (Mykelti Williamson), is diabetic and starts to go into shock.  Unable to leave his friend behind, Poe convinces Cyrus and the others that he wants to go along with their plans, saying he's got 15 years left and nothing more to live for than the hope of freedom on a beach.  He vows to save Baby-O and to protect the lives of the captured guards.  Meanwhile, on the ground, US Marshal Vince Larkin (John Cusack) must figure out how to keep hot-headed DEA Agent Duncan Malloy (Colm Meaney) from simply blowing the plane out of the sky, killing Poe and the other hostages.

"Moonraker" (1979)

Starring Roger Moore, Richard Kiel and Michael Lonsdale
Written by Christopher Wood
Directed by Lewis Gilbert
Rated PG - Violence, language, sex
Running Time: 126 Minutes
Trailer

When an experimental space shuttle is stolen while being transported across the ocean, MI6 agent 007 James Bond (Roger Moore) is sent to the United States to investigate the manufacturer, Hugo Drax (Michael Lonsdale).  There, he meets Holly Goodhead (Lois Chiles), a beautiful scientist and undercover CIA agent.

Bond suspects that Drax is involved the theft of the shuttle, but can't prove it.  He begins to dig deeper into Drax's massive multinational corporation, and finds evidence that Drax may be manufacturing some kind of nerve gas.  He heads to Italy, where he finds Goodhead once more, and after surviving an encounter with the assassin known as Jaws (Richard Kiel), the two decide to team up and figure out exactly what Drax is up to.

Eventually, they find that Drax is creating a secret society in space and plans to wipe out all of humanity using his deadly nerve gas, and the survivors will be only those of his choosing to form a master race.  Bond and Goodhead must race against time, assassins, and Drax's henchmen to stop the gas from raining death upon the Earth.

"Die Another Day" (2002)

Starring Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry and Toby Stephens
Written by Neal Purvis and Robert Wade
Directed by Lee Tamahori
Rated PG-13 - Violence, language, sex
Running Time: 133 Minutes
Trailer

James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) is betrayed and captured while attempting to assassinate a corrupt North Korean colonel. Imprisoned and tortured for over a year, Bond is only released after a Korean terrorist named Zao (Rick Yune) attempts to blow up a summit between China and North Korea, and word is leaked that Bond may have leaked info to the North Koreans.

Knowing he's been set up, Bond escapes MI6 and tracks Zao to Cuba where he meets the beautiful and dangerous NSA agent Jinx (Halle Berry) who has come to the island to assassinate the head of a mysterious gene clinic where Zao is receiving a DNA transplant to give him a new identity.  Bond learns that Zao was paying for his treatment with stolen African conflict diamonds, which he tracks back to London to a popular but mysterious entrepreneur named Gustav Graves (Toby Stephens).

Graves and his assistant Miranda Frost (Rosamund Pike) are impressed with Bond, and arrange for him to attend a demonstration of Graves' new satellite technology, ICARUS.  When M (Judi Dench) learns that Bond has become involved with Graves, she brings him back into the agency to uncover just what ICARUS is, and Graves' true plans.  Bond discovers that Frost is also an MI6 agent who has been unable to learn what Graves is up to.

But what Bond discovers about Graves and ICARUS could have disastrous consequences for the entire world.  And Bond still hasn't discovered the identity of the traitor who gave him away to the North Koreans...

"Batman & Robin" (1997)

Starring George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Uma Thurman
Written by Akiva Goldsman
Directed by Joel Schumacher
Rated PG-13 - Violence, language, sexual themes
Running Time: 125 minutes
Trailer

This movie sucks.

Batman (George Clooney) and Robin (Chris O'Donnell) are called to the Gotham Museum, which is under attack by the villainous Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger).  Freeze is stealing the largest diamonds he can find in order to power the suit that keeps him cold and alive, as well as his ultimate weapon, a 'freezing engine'.  Or whatever.

Meanwhile, in some random South American laboratory, weirdo scientist Pamela Isley (Uma Thurman) has been experimenting with creating plant/animal hybrids... or whatever.  Her lab partner, Dr. Woodrue, has used her research to create Venom, a super-steroid he plans to sell to the highest bidder.  He experiments on a local prisoner and creates Bane (Jeep Swenson), a massive, overly muscled, monosyllabic henchman.  ...or whatever.

After Woodrue tries to kill her with the Venom, Isley transforms into Poison Ivy, a sultry half-woman/half-plant (or whatever), kills Woodrue and takes Bane on a trip to Gotham to destroy Bruce Wayne.

Yada yada yada, Alfred (Michael Gough) is dying, his niece Barbara (Alicia Silverstone) shows up for some reason, Batman and Robin start bickering like dicks, and eventually there's some bullshit about freezing the entire planet and replacing people with plants.

Or whatever.

"Colombiana" (2011)

Starring Zoe Saldana, Cliff Curtis and Lennie James
Written by Luc Besson and Robert Mark Kamen
Directed by Olivier Megaton
Unrated
Running Time: 108 Minutes
Trailer

Sometimes the enjoyment of a film comes not from the film itself, but from the audience.  B-movies of this type are a good counterpoint to serious films.

A young girl witnesses her parents' murder at the hands of Colombian gang lords.  She uses her father's stolen information on the organization to buy her way into the United States, where she goes to live with her uncle Emilio (Cliff Curtis).  She asks him to teach her to be a killer so she can get revenge on the people who murdered her parents.

Fifteen years later, Cataleya Restrepo (Zoe Saldana) is a contract killer for hire.  Her uncle locates members of the Colombian gang that killed her parents in America and she pulls off elaborate infiltration schemes to murder them, frustrating FBI investigators who believe they are tracking a serial killer.  Hot on Cataleya's trail is FBI Agent Ross (Lennie James), who begins to uncover a greater plot involving his serial killer when his leads start pointing toward the CIA.  When he tries to get information out of CIA Agent Richard (Callum Blue), he's shut down.  It turns out Richard is in league with drug lord Don Luis, now residing in the US.  Don Luis knows Cataleya is after him and his organization, and sends his top man, Marco (Jordi Molla) to stop her.

Cataleya is getting closer to Don Luis, who is getting more desperate to stop her.  Ross gets a big break when Cataleya's sort-of boyfriend makes a tactical error and takes a picture of her with his cell phone.  Now, with her identity blown, Cataleya must go on the run and force a final confrontation with Marco and Don Luis to get her revenge.

"Drive Angry" (2011)

Starring Nicolas Cage, Amber Heard and William Fichtner
Written by Todd Farmer and Patrick Lussier
Directed by Patrick Lussier
Rated R - Violence, gore, language, nudity, sex
Running Time: 105 Minutes
Trailer

I don't even know where to begin with this one.  Uh... the plot.......?

Milton (Nicolas Cage) has broken out of Hell itself to track down a Satanic cult leader named Jonah King (Billy Burke).  King killed Milton's daughter, and stole his infant granddaughter, whom he plans to sacrifice to Satan in order to unleash Hell on Earth.

The Accountant (William Fichtner) has come from Hell to retrieve Milton.  He can only be killed by a mystical weapon with magic bullets, of which Milton happens to be in possession.
 
Milton, on his way to find Jonah's compound, asks a beautiful young waitress named Piper (Amber Heard) for a ride in her muscular Dodge Charger.  When he witnesses Piper's fiance beating her, he intercedes and nearly kills the man, taking Piper with him on his quest for revenge.  Ultimately, the two will form a bond of friendship as they attempt to rescue the infant from King and his evil hick minions.

"Mega-Shark vs Crocosaurus" (2010)

Starring Jaleel White, Robert Picardo and Gary Stretch
Written by Naomi Selfman
Directed by Christopher Douglas Olen-Ray
Unrated
Running Time: 90 minutes

Can you imagine?  Urkel himself, Jaleel White, as a military scientist fighting both the Mega-Shark and the Crocosaurus?  I hardly could, myself, but then I witnessed it with my own two bleeding eyes.

Urkel is a military scientist experimenting with using soundwaves to repel sharks underwater.  Not long after, the Mega-Shark attacks his ship, kills his fiancee, and leaves him with an ambiguous thirst for revenge.  Elsewhere, a random blonde woman in high heels stupidly treks through the jungle to find Wannabe Indiana Jones (Gary Stretch) and hire him to find the supposed monster that's frightened all of her workers.

But then it turns out that she finds it first, since she gets eaten (high heels and all) when the two of them make their way through the jungle together for no reason whatsoever.  Even though it's captured, the boat carrying Crocosaurus to the United States to be studied is attacked by the Mega-Shark, and both Wannabe Jones and Urkel are brought aboard a US Navy ship commanded by Admiral "The Doctor from 'Star Trek: Voyager'" (Robert Picardo), who's just downright too good to be in this fucking movie.  Admiral Star Trek tells Wannabe Jones and Urkel that their only mission is to kill the Mega-Shark and the Crocosaurus... before they kill all of us!

What follows is essentially an hour of low-budget nonsense, the occasional video-game level special effects, a whole vat of cheese, and more bad acting than Nicolas Cage's entire career put together under one roof.