"Killers" (2010)

Starring Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher and Tom Selleck
Written by Bob DeRosa and Ted Griffin
Directed by Robert Luketic
Rated PG-13 - Language, violence, sexual themes
Running Time: 100 Minutes
Trailer

In a foul mood the other day, I needed something to watch that was light and fluffy and utterly disposable.  "Red" worked pretty well, "Killers"... not so much.

Jen (Katherine Heigl) finds herself on vacation in Nice, France, with her parents ... cleverly named Mr. and Mrs. Kornfeldt (Tom Selleck and Catherine O'Hara) in the aftermath of a breakup with her boyfriend.  There, she meets attractive nice-guy Spencer (Ashton Kutcher) and the two strike up a quick romance.  Jen thinks that Spencer is a consultant, but in reality he's a CIA hit man in Nice on a mission to kill some unnamed target.

Three years later, Spencer and Jen are married and living in a nice house in suburbia, USA.  Spencer has given up the life of violence and works at a small architecture firm, happily going about a quiet life of normal normal normal.  He goes to work, plays basketball with his friends, gets invited to block parties, etc.  Out of the blue, his old boss Holbrook (Martin Mull) contacts him with a new job.  When Spencer refuses, Holbrook puts a hit out on Spencer.  Suddenly the people Spencer thought were just friends and coworkers turn out to be plants to keep him in line, and those friends and coworkers are now out to kill him.

When Jen comes home unexpectedly, she finds Spencer locked in mortal combat with Henry (Rob Riggle), and discovers the truth about Spencer's past.  Now the two of them are on the run, under attack from every direction.  Oh, and Jen juuuust might be pregnant.


"Killers" is not a good movie.  It's bright, and candy-colored, with no real sense of danger for its characters.  The action sequences are competent, but nothing spectacular.  There are a couple of inventive kills, especially one involving a chandelier made of antlers, but otherwise there's nothing much memorable about the action in "Killers."

The cast isn't particularly great, either.  I really want to like Katherine Heigl, I do.  She's attractive, and she has a good handle on her timing; she was really quite good in "Knocked Up," but she keeps doing these middling romantic comedies.  She seems better than this.  Ashton Kutcher doesn't have much in the way of chemistry with her, either.  But then, he doesn't have much chemistry with... anyone.  He does well enough with his action sequences, and even occasionally lands a solid punch line, but for the most part he's just kinda there.

The real standouts are Heigl's parents, played by Tom Selleck and Catherine O'Hara, who consistently get the film's biggest laughs.  There are a number of jokes about Selleck's mustache that are pretty hilarious, and O'Hara's overt alcoholism is so ridiculous you can't help but laugh.

But aside from a few good jokes from the parents and some decent but unimpressive action sequences, "Killers" doesn't have much to offer.  In all, "Killers" feels like a low-rent version of "Mr. And Mrs. Smith," which was superior if only because of it's more impressive action sequences and Brad Pitt's hilarious performance.  It moves at a pretty quick pace and is over quickly, but there's no real spark, nothing to make this more than a movie to have on in the background just for the noise.